Fanfiction
by Jessica Jewell
Summary: The Inuyasha characters don't like fanfiction that much.
1. Chapter 1

"Argh! I'm done! I quit! Finished! On strike!" Kagome fumed in anger as she slammed the door to the Character's Lounge. The lounge was were the Inuyasha cast hung out when they weren't entertaining people in the anime, manga, fanfictions, or fanart, or whatever other imaginable horrors that people can put them through.

"What is it now?" Sango asked, looking up from polishing Hiraikotsu.

"Fanfiction writer! I hate 'em! I wish that every single one of them had a rosary like Inuyasha! Then I could just sit them all!" Kagome yelled in anger, and when she'd said sit, the poor hanyou hit the ground hard. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Inuyasha. I didn't mean to!"

"Keh! And I wish you'd be more careful with how you throw that word around! Wench!" Inuyasha grumbled from his position on the wood floor. Kagome decided to ignore the wench, considering she'd accidentally sat him.

"What make you hate them, Kagome?" Miroku asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Them and their damned writing! Excuse my language, but it urks me! Can't they just accept the fact that I'm human!" Kagome growled in frustration before plopping down in a chair. "I mean, seriously. Can't they just keep me Kagome? No! I've got to be emo, depressed, always running away when I catch Inuyasha with Kikyou. Either that, or I'm in love with Kouga, Miroku, even you, Sango, and Sesshomaru! I've been with Naraku, _willingly_! I've been an angel, I've been killed and brought back multiple times, I've been raped. I've been ugly, I've been the most beautiful thing to walk this earth. I've been fat. I've been to skinny. I've been a cheerleader, a goddess, a singer, a dancer, a drummer, a vampire, a half demon, a full demon, my father repeatedly rapes me, Naraku's _been _my father, I was never actually a miko, I've-"

"Kagome! Stop! We get it! But remember, you aren't the only one who's like that," Sango said. "I mean, I've been in love with Inuyasha!"

"Yeah, well, I'm _suppose_ to be in love with Inuyasha. But _no!_ I love everyone else! I'm just glad no one has had me with Jaken... Or have they?" The panic was evident in her eyes as she searched around the room.

"... Actually..." Miroku had a look that clearly said, 'I'm sorry.'

"Was _I_ willing!?"

"Actually... he more like has a crush on you and you were just wanting to set up camp for the night."

"Uh..." Kagome flopped back against the back of the chair with enough force, that had she been bigger, the chair would have tipped over. "What else have I been with that I didn't know of."

"Well," Shippou started ot think. He'd read his share of fanfics, so he knew some, "there's Ayame, Ginta, Inutaisho-"

"My _dad_!?" Inuyasha yelped, eyes wide.

Shippou ignored that, and continued, "Jakotsu, and well... let's see... the only people you _aren't_ with are Kaede, Izayoi, Hakkaku, Kanna, and Souta."

"Eh! You mean... I'm with everyone else!" Kagome's eyes were huge. "What am I? A whore?"

"Apparently, miko," Sesshomaru said, passively of course.

"Ugh! Well... at least I'm not paired with my brother, unlike you!" Kagome shot back.

"What?" Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you know?" Kagome was surprised. "People have paired you with Inuyasha... making you..." she stopped, shuddering at the thought, "making you..."

"This Sesshomaru does not wish to know what they make him do," his eyes narrowed at Kagome as if it was her fault they were writing these... horrible things about him and his half-breed half-brother. The thought sickened him.

The door slammed open, and Kagura stormed in, slamming the door behind her with such force that it shook the wall. She let out a scream of anger, her red eyes shinning with malice. "Those fiction writing are going to _die_!" She said threw clenched teeth.

"What'd they do to you?" Kagome asked, glad that someone shared her anger.

"They paired me with _him!_" Kagura pointed at Kouga with disgust.

"Like I'd want to be with you either! I already have a women! Right, Kagome?" Kouga looked over to the poor teen from the future. All Kagome could do was an anime sweatdrop.

"It's not like you can go on strike," Kanna's passive voice, even more so than Sesshomaru's, spoke. "They will still write what they want to write."

Shippou frowned. "She's write you know."

"They can't write if they aren't alive!" Inuyasha growled, grabbing ahold of Tetsugai's handle.

"Inuyasha, sit boy!" THUMP! "You can't just go and kill them because they can't keep us in character! I mean, it would be nice if more authors did that, but it's the world of fanfiction. Fan and fiction. Meaning... not the creator and fake. So, they will write what they want. All we can do is be pissed about it."

Sesshomaru pulled out his sword. "Says you."

"No, Lord Sesshomaru!" When Sesshomaru glared at Kagome, she quickly added, "Takahashi-sama will get lawsuits filed against her if her characters go and kill people. Surely you won't do that to her?"

"Hmm... I suppose this Sesshomaru can wait a while longer," Sesshomaru sheathed his sword, though it was not something he really wanted to do. He did owe Rumiko something... if even this. After all, if it wasn't for her, he wouldn't be here.

"Patience is virtue!" Kagome smiled.

"Do not tell me about patience, miko. You are testing my last one." With that said, he turned and swiftly walked to his corner of the lounge, where Rin sat patiently. If only Sesshomaru would be like her... Keep dreaming!

"At least you are important enought to mention. I'm in barely any fanfictions!" Myouga complained, arms crossed and eyes closed. "They don't even have my name under the list of characters!"

"Who'd wanna write a story about you?" Inuyasha said, matching the tick demon closely, even though he was more like a mosquito, considering he didn't bury his head in your skin.

"Master Inuyasha! Must you be so rude to me! I've always been here for you-"

"Except when things get tough."

"That may be ture, but I could make a great hero in a story," Myouga defended himself.

"Well, at least we know one person who wants lies made about them in stories..." Shippou mumbled quietly, looking at Myouga out of the corner of his eyes. Myouga opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by Totosai.

"I'm kept in character pretty well," he beamed, as if proud of this fact.

"That's because barely anyone puts you in fanfictions. Myouga appears more than you do!" Souta felt the need to add to that.

Mama Higurashi sighed. "Souta, be nice."

"But mom! They aren't nice to you, either! They've made you be mean to Kagome and I and all of us know that Kagome's and my needs always came before yours. Remember when you lowered your bike's seat, just so Kagome wouldn't have to walk around town?" Souta said.

Mama Higurashi just shrugged. "People are bound to do what they want. Just look at Gramps. No one said that he had to make up illnesses for Kagome, he just does it."

"And it's a good thing, too! If I didn't make up illnesses, people would wonder just where she is!" Gramps crossed his arms and nodded.

"Gamps! The least you could do is make up some young people illnesses!" Kagome moaned. "I mean, is it so hard for me to just have a high fever?"

"Fever! Your friends would want to see you if I used that!" Gramps said.

"Aye, Child. Ye grandfather is right," Kaede said. "Though he may embarrass you with the sicknesses that he chooses, he means well."

"And why don't I appear in fanfictions more!" Gramps suddenly said, rather angerly, too. "Am I not hip enough!"

"Gramps... no one says "hip" anymore... and they haven't in about fifteen years. And no one back in Feudal Japan says it, either!" Kagome said, hiding her head in her hands.

"Back to the issue at hand. What are we gonna do about the writers?" Inuyasah asked, deciding to save Kagome any embarrassment. Kagome smiled at him and mouthed a 'thank you' to which he replied with "Keh."

"I don't know. What can we do? It's not like I can just suck them into my wind tunnel," Miroku sighed. "Because, in all honesty, I am tired of being gay. I mean, I'm the straightest guy here! No offence to all of you, but everyone can tell that I'm straight."

"Of course, Houshi-sama. And so long as you keep away from my _butt_, you'll remain the straightest _living_ male," Sango growled while bopping him with Hiraikotsu.

"But my dear Sango, I can't help it!" Miroku said. "The hand is cursed."

"Oh..." Kagome plopped back into her chair, rubbing her temple. She as starting to get a headache. She was tired of being so many different things as well. Couldn't people just let her be Kagome?

"I wouldn't mind if everyone stopped making me the sluttist girl in... 'high school,'" Kikyou spoke from the couch where she sat, one soul collecter gliding around her. "Kagome, what is 'high school' anyway?"

"It's a place where all the teenagers go learn stuff," Kagome wearily answered. "Go on."

"It would also be grateful if they did not make me love Naraku. I never loved him, nor Onigumo. Onigumo loved me, or rather, lusted me. I cared only for Inuyasha. I also wish that people would quit saying that I never loved Inuyasha, because I did. The only reason I wanted him to be human was so I could be normally, but I also loved him as a half-demon. Would I not have kissed him if I didn't?" Kikyou said.

"See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! Why do people have to mix what we say and turn it into something completely different, just so we can match whatever pairing they want us to be in or make us seem like the bad guys, when we aren't!" Kagome sighed, tired after her ranting.

Shippou's question was suppose to be innocent, so he didn't understand the glares he recieved. "... So, what should we do about it?"

--

**Well, their you go. A fanfiction about how the Inuyasha characters hate fanfictions. Feel free to tell me what you think. I might add more chapters... if I can get inspiration.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay everybody, here is what we will do. Everyone should brainstorm an idea as to what to do about the fiction writers and then we will choose the best idea and put it into action!" Kagome smiled proudly to herself, as she was proud of her plan. "But I won't brainstorm, because I'll be writing down everyone's ideas!" She reached into her yellow backpack and pulled out a notebook and a pen. "So, start brainstorming!"

"... Why?" Inuyasha looked at her.

Kagome growled in frustration and glared at him. "Because it will make me feel better! I'm already in a bad mood about these writers and I don't need you to make it worse! So why don't you_ sit,_" purposefully said, and the poor hanyou hit the ground, "down and brainstorm!" mumbling could be heard from the hole in which the hanyou sat.

"I wish you'd quit doing that, Kagome. It costs so much to get the floor fixed. And it was such a nice wood floor," Mama Higurashi sighed, feeling sorry for the poor inu-hanyou that was forced to hit the dirt when Kagome got angry, though it was mostly towards him, but this time he was innocent. All he'd wanted to know was why.

"Okay, I'll give you all five minutes to brainstorm, then when you have an idea, feel free to tell me. I'll be waiting!" Kagome smiled happily, her pen positioned over the paper as she started the five minute count. Kagome was pretty amazed when the whole room got quiet, showing that almost everyone was brainstorming. This was good, because it showed that Kagome wasn't the only one tired of what the writers had to write about them.

The minutes seem to be extremely slow as Kagome waited. Kagome had pretty good patience, but it also depends upon what she was waiting for. This was one of those times where her patience was thin, but she was willing to fake a good patience so as to get some good idea's about what to do. Though... Kagome wasn't as patient as she wanted to be. Well, she needed to pass the time, so might as well study for that ugly math test that was coming up. Pulling out her math book, Kagome proceeded to do only two of the extra practice problems before she was interrupted.

"I've got an idea," Kagura said in a low, angry voice. Kagome dropped her math book and grabbed her paper of ideas, which she'd neatly labeled "Revenge" upon the top, and wrote 'Kagura' and then waited for the wind demoness to tell Kagome her brillant idea. But Kagura didn't speak. She merely flipped her fan open, an evil look in her eyes. "I think that's all that need to be said."

Kagome anime sweatdropped. "Eh... we'll keep it on the list." she gave a fake smile, while crossing out Kagura's name from the paper.

"You know," Miroku started, "I've got an idea, too." Kagome brighten up and quickly wrote his name upon the paper ready to jot down his idea if it was any good. A thought bubble appeared above Miroku, with various authors, all female of course, around him, swooning and saying things along the lines of 'Oh, Miroku! We'll write whatever you want!' or 'Bear my child, Miroku!' But that bubble didn't last long, as an angry Sango popped it with Kagome's pen, which she'd stolen a few second ago. Sango threw the pen back to Kagome, who caught it awkwardly, and glared at the monk. Kagome sighed and crossed off Miroku's name.

"I think a much better idea would to be just to ask them to stop," Sango said through clenched teeth as she still galred at the poor monk.

"Hmm... we could try, but going around to _every __**single**_** writer** would be a tough job," Kagome mused, "but I'll add it to the list." She then wrote 'Sango' upon the paper, adding 'ask them to stop' after it, leaving her name uncrossed. Sango flashed Kagome a quick smile before returning to chewing out the monk for being 'lecherous.' and other words that can not be put here, as this has K rating. "Well, anymore ideas?"

Sesshomaru grabbed Tokijin, ready to pull it out of its sheath.

"Right, got it! Adding to the list!" Kagome once again faked a smile as she wrote Sesshomaru upon the page, though crossing his name out, using two lines instead of just one. That'll show him... or it wouldn't, which was the point of the whole thing because it meant that she would get to live if he didn't see it. She'd best keep this piece of paper to herself.

"We could prank the worst offenders!" Shippou said, pulling out his tops and other such fox magic tricks.

Kagome smiled warmly at him. "Thanks Shippou, I'll add it to the list." Kagome wrote 'Shippou - pranks' though she doubted they would do that. It would take a lot of work, and everyone had different opinions on who the worst offenders were. "Anymore?"

Silence followed her question. Great. They had only two options to choose from. Not much choice, huh? "Well... with these choices I guess that we'll need to see which is best, huh? Let me think upon it a bit. It'll be a tough choice." Great. Now she was lying to them. Oh well. Not much else she could say.

"Now Kagome, some of us aren't done thinking," Mama Hikurashi spoke, startling her daughter.

"But Mama, I thought you were okay with what they wrote," Kagome said, confused.

"No, I said that people will do what they want. I never said that I agreed with what they wanted to do," the smile upon Mama Higurashi's face was a sly one.

"I have an idea," Naraku was the one who spoke this time, his evil thought bubble appearing. Though, to discribe what he had planned for the poor author's would no longer make this a K rated, and so I will leave you to your imaginations.

Kagome, however, gulped and wrote 'Naraku' only to fiercely scribble it out, tearing a whole in her paper because of the friction. "Right. Got it..." Her only option now was the wait for her mother to tell her what she thought they should do.

"Well, Kagome, I'm drawing a blank. Sorry, sweety," Mama Higurashi sighed in defeat.

"Why not sue them?" Souta asked, blinking in confusion. Wasn't that was adults did anyway?

"Souta!" Kagome jumped up, joy written clearly across her face. "That's it! You are a genius!" Kagome ran over and hugged her brother, swinging him around.

"Kagome! Get off!" the boy's cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "Just what did I say?"

"We are going to take them to court! It's perfect! Okay, now we need to choice just who does what. Let me think for a second..." Kagome dropped her brother, who had swirls for eyes from lack of air, and ran back to her chair. She flipped a page in her notebook and started to write. "Oh, this will be good! Very, very good!"

Everyone near Kagome took a step back. She was starting to scare them.

"Yes! Okay, this should work. Now, here is what we are going to do," Kagome said, launching into her evil plan.

--

**Sadly, I must end there. I know it's short, but it's the best I could do, seeing as I need a volunteer to continue! Yes, that's right. You read right. Well... we always read right when you read English... anyway, back to the topic. I need a volunteer to be put on trial, because the Inuyasha cast will be taking you to court! So, any volunteers?**


	3. Kori Tsudo

"Welcome to the Court of Law of the InuYasha Cast. You should be well aware of why you have been called into court this day, as a notice was sent to you. But seeing as the jury might not be aware of you offense, I shall read all offenses against you," Sesshomaru, volunteered judge of this court hearing, pulled from his stack of haphazardly put together paper the paper that listed Kori Tsudo's offenses. "Offense one - having Kagome sing randomly in the middle of a fight. Songfic. The evidence of this is clearly shown in your story, Brother, My Brother. This ranks seven on our list."

"I thought that it was a good idea! And lots of people like it! And-"

Sesshomaru merely raised an eyebrow, which silenced the fanfiction writer rather quickly. "Do not interrupt me again, human. You will regret it. Now, offense two - killing off a character that was never to die. This is proven in your poem, Cotard Delusion and well as the fanfiction, Remembrance as well as others. This offense ranks two. In fact, you are guilty of all our offenses accept numbers four, five, and eight."

Kori Tsudo's mouth gaped at this thought. "But how can I be guilty!? You need evidence! Prove. You can't just list-"

"We have proof. Allow me to introduce our jury board," Sesshomaru waved a hand towards the jury, a set of only four people. "Ayame of the Demon Wolf Tribe, Myouga, Totosai, and Souta. These have been selected because they appear to never have been abused in any fanfictions you have written. The court will now come to session!"

"How can-"

"Respect my court, human, or face death. The only reason you are still alive is because Rumiko Takahashi would suffer great lawsuits if I killed you. Remember that," the inu's cold stare froze Kori Tsudo, and he took this chance to continue. "We will call to the stand our first witness, Miroku." From somewhere in the courtroom, said monk stood and made his way to the judge. "Now, Miroku, will you please tell the jury what this woman has done to you?"

"Lady and gentlemen of the jury, this woman has killed me! Not only did she kill me, but in that very same poem, not even a wonderfully detailed tale about my demise, _a poem_, she has made me insane, and it was this insanity that caused my untimely death, with left Sango to grieve in my wake," Miroku looked the jury in the eyes, all the while pointing an accusing finger at Kori.

"Hold on! I said it could be anyway. I just labeled it as Miroku and Sango because they were the original idea..." Kori trailed off, sensing that this would not help her case.

"Ah! So you admit that you intentional wrote this poem with them in mind?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Well... Yeah, I'll admit to that much. But really, you can hardly count my imagination as plausible proof to convict someone! Besides, those aren't even a jury of my peers! I-"

"This is not an American court of law. This is the Court of Law of the InuYasha Cast. You're pathetic rules to do not apply here. No silence! Next witness, Kagome."

Kagome and Miroku traded places and Sesshomaru asked Kagome the same question that was asked to Miroku. "Well, Your Honor, she's done a lot to me. I seem to be her favorite play thing. She made me a crybaby, a hanyou, a liar, she's killed me off, and she even wrote a fanfiction where she claims that Kikyou and I think exactly the same because she wrote, and I quote, 'I reread it, it seems it could be either Kikyo or Kagome thinking this. You choose.' _**Choose**_, lady and gentlemen of the jury? How can someone possibly _choose_ who is thinking something! Surely my thought process and that of Miss Kori Tsudo are completely different! So why aren't mine and Kikyou's?"

The jury exchanged looks and nods of agreement.

"Hold on! Hold on! I wrote those stories for entertainment, not to hurt you guys! I-"

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Sesshomaru cut off Kori, who's mouth hung open in disbelief.

"We have, Sesshomaru-sama," Ayame stood. "We find Kori Tsudo guilty of the following - putting InuYasha characters out-of-character, killing off a character who was never intended to die, songficing, and creating pairings that do not follow the plot of InuYasha."

"Where does that last one come to play!!?" Kori shouted in anger.

"Ten Years, in which Sesshomaru abandons Rin. Your punishment, by order of this court, is to take accounts and records of all following court hearings."

"Very good. Court dismissed."

The InuYasha cast left, leaving a stunned Kori Tsudo in their wake.

--

**This was written to show you sorta what court hearings will be like. The judge, jury, and witnesses will be different for each defendant. These things will be added up according to whose shown up in their stories, who has been "mistreated" the most, and who appears to have been left mostly alone. **

**If you still want to be put on trial, please review or message. I lost interest in this story and things came up, but I'm back at it, and the InuYasha cast even punished me to continue writing up the documentations of their trials.**

**Also, I was thinking of literally 'summoning' people to court. Like sending them a message that states the offenses they have. Everyone will have the option to say that they do not want to be on trial, but that was an idea I had. Tell me what you think or message me questions.**

**Also, the list of 'offenses' that Sesshomaru was talking about is as follows - **

**1. Out of Characterness**

**2. Killing off a Character That Was Never Intended For Death**

**3. Pairings That Do Not Follow the Plot of InuYasha**

**4. Original Characters That End Up With A Canon**

**5. Original Characters That Are Related To A Canon**

**6. Alternate Universe (AU) Stories**

**7. Songficcing**

**8. Songficcing in Alternate Universe**

**If you can think of any other offenses that the characters might have, please do tell me. I could use some more! **

**Well, Kori Tsudo, out for now!**


End file.
